


Choice

by DobraFanfikcja



Category: One Piece
Genre: Internal Monologue, M/M, Politics, Romance, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21720586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DobraFanfikcja/pseuds/DobraFanfikcja
Summary: Shortstory describing Sengoku dealing with his resignation and involved issues. Very slow-paced, lots of internal monologues, politics, army problems and homosexual love (no actual sex). Co-starring all the main Marines. Slightly AU, since I have written it long time ago, right after The Marineford (Whitebeard) Battle.
Relationships: Sengoku the Budda/Akainu, Sengoku the Budda/Sakazuki
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	1. Colloqium primum

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece (Luffy would be devastated if I did :D) or anything belonging to One Piece Universe.
> 
> Author's notes: This story is actually quite old and takes place right after the Battle with Whitebeard and was written then, which means I don't take into account what has happened after the battle (like Sakazuki becoming new Gensui), since I simply have not known that yet. It's a very slow-paced fic, read if you like a lot of internal dwelling. Also it concentrates on politics, army management issues and homosexual love (but no actual sex). And sorry for any English mistakes, two betas had kindly readproofed this for me, but both are Polish, so you know. Would be very grateful for any corrections if you spot any mistakes.

The royal eel stared at him for a moment, then turned back, his steely body glistening in golden sunrays before disappearing among emerald algae. The school of smaller fish sprung from the place, made a couple of quick zigzags only to be chased away by killer seahorse bristling with its venomous quills. The little sea den den mushi has fallen off the glass of the impressive aquarium and drifted slowly toward its bottom. All in all, it must have been very soothing view to have around when you were the Commander in Chef and the main link between the Marines and the Gorousei. Sengoku was always a bit envious of that impressive tank and tended to find certain pleasure in looking at it while waiting in the reception, where the part of it was visible. Presently, however, was not the right moment to enjoy marine fauna, since he no longer waited for the difficult and ticklish conversation with his direct chef. Presently he was in the middle of it.

The silence dragged on for a couple of moments filled with Kong's emotionless yet very penetrating glance. Sengoku was doing his best to had his firm resolve carved in every inch of his face, body and aura. Years of experience in being the Marine Gensui made the task considerably easier in this tense atmosphere. After a moment Commander leaned back in his armchair and responded, no visible change in his features:

\- We have tried to convince him otherwise, but Garp resigned from his post.

Sengoku frowned. He could guess where this was leading. He has been cooperating with Kong for years and he knew better than anyone else that beneath those impressive muscles and weird composition of spikes lied the mind perceptive, agile and experienced in peacefully making other people reach decisions consistent with his will (with exception of Garp on whom none of the more or less subtle techniques of suggestions, persuasions or manipulation ever have seemed to work). He hoped his eyes showed that he most strongly disapproves of using Garp's decision to made him change his own. For the respect for both of them.

A shadow of resignation passed over Kong's face for a moment. Or maybe it was only Sengoku's wishful thinking.

-...still, his position among Marines will remain unchanged and he'll do us a favour by staying in army for the sake of young recruits' morale.

Kong's eyes never left Sengoku's face.

\- Since you've decided to abandon the position of Gensui, then at least I wish you did the same, Sengoku.

The sense of surprise sneaked into Sengoku's heart. Would that conversation really be so quick and unproblematic? You're psychically worn out, mentally emaciated, so we'll let you do as you please in recognition of your services or at least of normal human sympathy, just stay around for the sake of youngsters, please? He smiled serenely. This was not the reality of politics. You don't let extremely useful people abandon their posts just like that. Unless you see some other use for them. But for the time being Sengoku decided to behave as he was accepting this at face value.

\- In that case, I would accept it. This may not be a bad way to spend one's remaining years... - he smiled into Kong's scrutinizing eyes. 'Now that you have agreed to my resignation, no turning back, whatever you'll say next. Once I'm retired, I'll be no longer obliged to worry about the army, compliance with orders from The Government, public opinion, compromises with Shichibukai, compromises with Nobles, compromises with my own conscience and billion of other things I've grown so tired of.' - thought Sengoku watching as the barely visible light of satisfaction appeared on his Commander's face - 'Even though I'm sure you still think that keeping me around will end up in manipulating me back into being a link between filled with doubt soldiers and conservative Government, even if I will no longer be in a position of Gensui. I'm afraid I may disappoint you though.'

Kong remained silent for some time. When he calmly continued, there was a note of concern in his voice.

\- You two have been fighting in the first line since the days of Roger. Your resignation... It will be grand news.

Sengoku waited patiently, smiling. 'Playing on the sense of responsibility and loyalty, of course.' After all this worked on him for so many years.

\- The 'legendary' pirates, including those who have broken free from the Level 6, are still prowling the seas. Newgate was barely the peak of it all. The Age of Piracy is coming back now...

Commander paused. It wasn't obviously expectant. The expectation was barely lurking around the corners, peeking cautiously from behind the carefully chosen words, lying deep in those blue eyes. Kong usually did not push people to any decision obviously. Still, in the end they somehow tended to change their minds about things after talking to him. Sengoku knew about it and did not fail to continue his serene smile of a man already on retirement.

\- What good would be Marines commanded by the gang of oldtimers? - he asked almost jokingly.

Though Sengoku was seemingly talking about himself, the pun of criticism was quite obvious and made Kong frown barely perceptibly. Even though they both had not always supported every decision The Government made (the thing of course not known to the rank and file) they always were far from questioning its authority over the army. Even jokingly. And that should not ever be changed, stated clearly Kong's eyebrows. Sengoku decided to move back to a bit safer area of abstract ideas.

\- 'Justice' itself is a value. It will be present no matter of the generation - he stated firmly.

They've been looking at each other, serene man who felt that he had already done and seen enough to be excused to rest and grave man who still felt strong enough to carry the responsibility of trying to change this world into a more just place. Finally Kong's eyes said sincere 'Fine' even if he did not utter a world.

'And now comes the second part of the conversation. Closer to mental duel though it might be. And it not necessarily will be the easier one. Keep smiling, Sengoku, every tiny thing that may give you an advantage is valuable'

\- More importantly... as far as it goes for the next Gensui, I would recommend Kuzan.

Maybe the atmosphere before was not so tense after all. In the end, everything is a matter of comparison.

xxx

Sengoku waited patiently under unblinking blue stare. The stare that was far from expressing satisfaction now.

\- I can't say I'm not surprised with your decision... Didn't you always claim that Sakazuki is the best soldier you ever had?

\- Yes, that's true and I by no means intend to deny that fact - conceded carefully Hotoke.

\- Then we can't also deny that you sound a bit contradictory right now, can we, Sengoku?

\- I value Akainu most highly, both as a brave soldier and as a very loyal subordinate – answered slowly Sengoku. - He doubtlessly does not lack in perseverance, intelligence and composure when the situation needs it. I don't recall him failing me even once.

\- ...well, then?

The former Fleet Admiral was silent for a moment chosing prudently his words.

\- ...all what I have said is true, I've got not a slightest doubt here. It makes him a perfect soldier. But, you've said it yourself, Commander, haven't you. Now we live in a difficult age. - Sengoku made his gaze unyielding while his mouth still kept the trace of his previous smile – And not always a perfect soldier makes a perfect commander, I'm afraid. Even though he fulfills his duties as an Admiral flawlessly there is a great gap between commanding even the biggest troop and taking the responsibility for the whole army. There is a huge difference between reporting to the Fleet Admiral and reporting to the civil...

\- Yes, imagine that I'm pretty much aware of that – interrupted Kong, uncanny sign of him losing patience somewhere deep. - So, in short, what does he lack?

\- ...great legendary pirates are prowling the seas, as you have said before. The weakness of theirs is the fact they seem to be by nature unable to cooperate. There are some bigger packs, of course...

Short tick on Kong's hand showed that he had stopped himself from drumming his fingers, an old habit signing that he was irritated. Sengoku continued.

\- ...but in the end, they're as divided as politics on the so called democratic islands and they're trying to finish each other off. The unity of our army is an advantage they will be never able to achieve. And we shouldn't put it on stake - he ended slowly.

\- ...so you think Sakazuki won't be able to ensure army's loyalty to himself? - Kong asked him in this particular straightforward manner that made people think again whether they really mean to say what they seem to mean to say.

\- ...I barely think things go much more smoothly when one's subordinates have trust in their commander's decisions and see that he truly cares about his army's well-being - answered Senkoku cautiously.

\- I don't recall a reason to doubt that – replied coldly Kong.

\- I'm the last person to doubt it either. ...but let's say I'm in a pretty huge minority here.

\- So this is your reason to deny your best soldier and faithful long time support his well deserved promotion?

\- The decision always lies with the Government, doesn't it, Commander. It is merely a tradition that the next Gensui is suggested - but not chosen - by the previous one, nothing binding, isn't it. I'm sure the Government will make the best choice – answered Sengoku in almost pleasant tone.

'And you won't make it easier, will you' said Kong's sharp glance.

\- And you think Kuzan will be able to manage it? - he asked - His service for the army is exemplary but isn't he per any chance too young and idealistic for such a responsible post?

\- There were younger Gensui in the history, Commander. And he does not lack in intelligence. I am sure that when he takes the post, he'll soon realise the limits the real world has – he added with a very small undertone of wryness. - I think he'll prove to be a very good Gensui. The type Marines may be in need in this era. And the fact that he is generally liked and respected by admirals and high ranked officers should ensure him the support of experienced soldiers if needed.

\- Like Sakazuki? - slight note of sarcasm. It was widely known the two Admirals were less than friendly towards each other.

\- I am sure Akainu will have the same unyielding loyal coolheaded attitude towards him as he had towards me.

\- Is that so? - subtle shift into mockery – And have you already told Sakazuki the happy news about his future wife? I'm sure he'll want to fulfill all his previous duties properly, right?

Maybe not so subtle after all. Sengoku felt his blood draining away from his face completely.

\- Just joking.

The former Fleet Admiral said nothing, mustering all his willlpower on concealing the anger that has shaken him from the inside.

\- But seriously – Kong's eyes bore through him – I sincerely hope your decision doesn't have anything to do with your relationship. You're not a child to be simply afraid of people talking that Sakazuki has slept his way up, right?

'...So that's your final try. Nice one, Commander. It almost really made me change my decision.' thought with silent fury former Fleet Admiral, his knuckles clenched bone white.

\- No, I'm not a child and I don't recall ever letting my private feelings affect my decisions- he answered in a very quiet icy tone. 'Or else Garp would not be mourning anyone now.'- And I'm afraid today it's all I have come to you with, my Commander.

You could slice water in half with the sharp silence that has followed*. Even the sound of the air supplied artificially into the grand tank was not audible through the thick glass. Much less of another sea den den mushi falling down towards the aquamarine pebbles. Sengoku was now observing its slow journey as if it was the most fascinating show he could have ever witness. Or at least much more fascinating than the conversation with his Commander which he hoped he have pointedly enough signalled to be finished, no matter how inappropriate his behaviour may have seemed. He's got enough.

Kong sighed.

\- Don't get me wrong, Sengoku. - he started once again in a placatory tone. - I have most high opinion about your deeds and decisions and have always considered you one of the best Gensui our army has ever had. All I hope is that your successor won't ruin what you have achieved through such dedication.

\- You shouldn't keep pygmy vivernas in the same bank as the killer seahorse, it's gonna attack them when they grow up - replied calmly Hotoke.

\- ...fine – Kong sighed again – I'm sure you've rethought everything and made the decision you've considered best. ...I simply hoped for Sakazuki to be the one I'd have to cooperate with later on. - he added openly - That's really something you, for one, should understand best. And this time without any tactless puns here – he smiled apologetically.

Sengoku sighed inaudibly. However angry he was, he couldn't honestly deny the fact that through all those years Kong had been a good Commander. Always carefully considering every decision, always focused on common people's well-being, never searching for his own glory nor pleasures and in these times, when conflicts tended to be most often solved by killing the oponent rather than talking to him, his manipulatory side should rather be seen as blessing than be cursed upon. Not that he would refrain from ruthless bloodshed, even of innocent citizens, when he could not see other solution or when there was a 'common good' at stake. But Sengoku grimly knew he certainly wasn't without guilt in that aspect either. Anyway, although their cooperation through all this years was not free of hidden conflicts of opinion that from time to time resulted in Sengoku's bitter disappointment or aversion, on the whole he respected Kong greatly for his dedication to justice and order they both believed so much in. Even if quite offended right now, Hotoke did not want, if possible, their last official meeting to end in a bitter atmosphere. He smiled again.

\- Believe me, my Commander, Aokiji will not be worse Gensui than me. I am sure he will not disappoint you. I would not recommend anything not being sure it is the best of possible choices... ...thank you for all these years. Service in your army was... and is always honor for me.

Kong smiled back in a tired but sincere way for the first time during that conversation.

\- No, like I've said, you were one of the best Admirals and soldiers there had ever been. It is me who was glad for the possibility to work with you.

\- I am happy I could serve for a noble cause. - Sengoku drew up and saluted, the mask of serene peace once again on his face.

\- Yes, yes, soldier as always – nodded Kong pensively – Well then, see you somewhere under the golden sun, my dear Sengoku, take your time.

\- Yes, Commander, once more thank you very much.

*If Zoro can slice water then apparently you can slice water :D


	2. Colloquium secundum

2\. Colloquium secundum

Sengoku sighed with a small dose of relief when the huge ornate door closed behind him. He had managed to get the approval for his two not exactly pleasing Government decisions (though the second one was actually still to be decided. Still the very fact that he wasn't forced to change his recommendation during the conversation could be considered as a success) and should be fully satisfied with himself. But instead, now that everything had been said and become irreversible, he has felt the unpleasant weight in his chest.

Something small and wet touched his palm lightly. Sengoku smiled weakly upon his white pet goat, stroked its upturned expectant head and started to walk in direction of the Grand Garden. It was all over now. Although he has decided on that himself, facing it as a part of his reality did not fill him with joy nor satisfaction. Not that he had expected it would. God, how grateful he would be to leave the post with a feeling that he was leaving everything in a best state possible. Or at least better than he had found it in. It would be such a soothing feeling to see that being so close to the top of this pyramid of power he had managed to change a world for better at least a tiny bit. Not any society-shaking revolution, but a small yet visible shift in good direction. And to be able to dream somewhere deep that the history may perhaps mention it shortly but approvingly somewhere on its numerous pages. But all he was left with was the very feeble hope that he had merely kept the world from becoming even worse than before and that the history won't mention him at all.

The calming sight of the sansui part of the elegant garden came into his view as he reached one of the numerous wooden terraces. After a short search he had spotted what was the other reason of the heavy feeling that was pulling him down into the navy blue areas of mind. The far away red speckle contrasted quite sharply with the light green of the small hill on the other side of the pond. Sengoku was standing still for a moment, feeling as the previous conversation becomes a trifle unmoving memory, already part of the many other important talks he has had in the past. After all everything was a matter of comparison... Before meeting with his Commander he had rethought all his arguments, Kong's possible reactions and contrarguments and when you put aside your emotions it did not differ that much from any other difficult debate they had had before. (Technically. How would he cope with his retirement was the other problem entirely.) Now however he was at lose as what to say and what would be the outcome – the feeling he hated the most.

He has looked at his pet tiredly. Orpheus jumped lightly onto the perfectly kept grass and looked back at him with what may have been concern in goatish body language. This faithful creature was quite gifted when it came to reading his master's moods and for the last couple of years it has been pretty upset with Sengoku's constant tension, continuing insomnia and connected with it outbursts of anger. Orpheus did not understand what was the reason of this unwelcome change, but with characteristic for all his kin intelligence guessed quite correctly that his master's mood darkens greatly after meetings with certain people and tried his best to keep them away from him. Unfortunately, being the gentleman he was, he has never used his horns and just hoped that persistent tugging by the clothes would do the job. Even though constantly tired and stressed, Sengoku has always appreciated this little sign of caring and to the annoyment of visiting people he has never bothered to tell Orpheus off (and has fed him unhealthy amounts of green tea leaves and brown sugar when they were gone). He searched his pockets while walking slowly towards the pond. He apparently had already absent-mindedly given away everything though. Sengoku sighed. 'Stop trying to distract yourself, Sengoku. You never used to do this before... even before crucial negotiations and battles... so there is no justification to do it now. This time the world won't shake to its farthest corners, if the outcome will be undesirable for you. ...god, how bad at comforting must be the guy, who comforts into depression even himself... Yep, that's it, Sengoku. Stick to sarcasm, that's more like you...'

He has resumed his walk and the red speckle has soon taken on the shape of the tall man in a red suit watching two cranes standing in the middle of the pond. Sakazuki enjoyed viewing that kind of carefully projected, well kept gardens. After all carefully projected, well kept bonsai trees were his passion, if one could use that kind of overflowing with emotion word for this man. Tsuru has always claimed that it is a sign of his mild side which he kept away from human sight, but Sengoku knew better. Ryu was a perfectionist who loved when all went according to his ideals and his internal rules and perhaps nothing among all living creatures suited him better than those bonsai trees that silently accepted all changes he made to them to make them look perfect. Then again Sengoku couldn't see anything wrong in being perfectionist, beside the fact that it could sometimes be a bit unhealthy for one and one's surroundings, since people and world tended to be quite far from the ideal.

And the truth was the bonsai trees Ryu had grown were all very pretty and healthy.

'...that is, before the destruction of Marineford' he added bitterly in his mind.

He sat beside him on the wooden bench, while Orpheus unceremoniously started to search Ryus' pockets in case there was any forgotten sembei there.

\- How did it go? - asked cooly Sakazuki ignoring the spoiled goat.

\- Pretty well, I guess... - Sengoku was not looking at him, but through years of being together he has learned which shades of coolness masked which feeling. Always felt a bit of gratification when he heard a very tiny tone of concern. - He has agreed to my resignation.

\- Good - nodded the other man – The proper rest should come to those who deserve it.

The golden carp jumped with a loud splash. One of the cranes hid its head under its wing. Sengoku has spent with Sakazuki five long years and he has not even once regretted the fact. Ryu has never failed to meet his expectations and has often exceded them. Even though he had his own strict view of things, he has been always taking the effort to listen to the opinion of those who he respected (very few may they be). And obeyed orders to its spirit regardless of his own conviction. He was the man to depend on. He was the man who always had trust in Sengoku's decisions. He was the man who would not expect beating around the bush.

\- I have recommended Kuzan for the next Fleet Admiral.

He almost wished for another splash from the pond to break the icy silence that has closed over those words. Ryu always had trust in his decisions. Always. And he wasn't with him for personal advantages, Sengoku was sure of that. Always very sure. The silence almost physically hurted his ears.

\- ... _why_.

This one finally uttered word has spoken everything. Sakazuki never asked for a reason when the decision was already made. Especially if there were any personal matters intertwined. And he also was a very proud man. The fact that he had asked for it now said a lot.

And Sengoku wished he wouldn't have to answer. The arguments he had used on Kong were weak and improper now. 'You're great soldier, Ryu, really! It's just that everyone hates you.' Not that Sakazuki didn't know about it, but somehow Sengoku doubted he would acknowledge the validity of promoting someone else basing on his PR. But it wasn't that he didn't have some other reasons too...

\- I know you've got your vision of army – he started quietly – and I'm sure the reforms you'd like to carry out would strengthen it greatly... but now times have become quite different than I had expected them to be. The Marines... we may need every soul that would be willing to fight on our side... not only the strongest and the most righteous... We may need compromises...

\- I've been in army for 40 years, Admiral. I've seen how it works.

Yes, he has. And always complied to compromise when ordered to. But being ordered and order are two different things. Would he really be able to discuss with those who he despised so much, while having the power to throw the whole army at them? Was Sengoku himself always able to do it? And Ryu had even more inflexible character... And not only that...

\- The Government is used to your loyalty and they would put a lot of pressure to make you walk on their leash – he added hesitantly – Kuzan with his laid-back uncaring character will have it easier to avoid the decisions that may be disastrous. ...like the Whitebeard Battle. - now, he couldn't say aloud 'I was happy you have always obeyed MY orders, but obeying SOMEONE ELSE'S that blindly is quite undesirable', could he?

Another silence fell.

\- I understand, Gensui – Ryu stood up after a moment. - I shall take a walk, if you don't mind.

\- ...shall I wait for you?

\- Please don't, Gensui.


	3. Colloquium tertium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yeah, I know I've overdone it a bit with internal monologues. It actually was even longer, imagine! But I just can't help it and don't have the heart to remove more. But in the next (most likely final!) chapter there will be many many more dialogues and political action, I promise! And finally other Marines will appear!

Sengoku has managed to read whole fourteen pages during the last three hours of sitting by the windowsill in his apartment. It was still more than the part he had read during the last month. But that time he was burdened with complete lack of time and the annoying feeling that the world is nothing but a little glass globe he has to juggle with while standing on the slippery floor. Now both of those problems were gone (well, the world was still there, alive and very fiercely kicking, but not in his hands anymore), so he should use his precious time to finally enjoy some reading (reports did not deserve that noble name). After all he should cherish those pleasures that haven't fled from him yet. No more punching in the face and drinking green tea with Garp, no more sex and skillful massages with Ryu and his eyes ached more and more often, so he really should read while he still could. Of course, there still were long walks with Orpheus, delectable dinners with Tsuru, drinking umeshu with Borsalino... and he could even take a trip to one of those far away islands he hadn't been to for many years. Or simply go back to fighting pirates, this time, once again, physically. It was retirement. THE retirement. Plenty of possibilities.

'...that decision must have touched him on much too many levels. No one should really blame him.' - it wasn't that Sengoku was thinking constantly of Ryu that afternoon. He really did his best to not make an internal tragedy of the fact that another one of the very few important to him persons has left him in a bitter atmosphere. He was old and lived through enough not to fall into despair. But still, the depressing thoughts were resurfacing every now and then. 'He had always worked himself into a lather. Never cutting himself any slack. Training when others were sleeping. Honing his willpower when others were drinking. Taking missions after missions when others thought about their lovers. Obeying orders when others (at least the skillful ones) were finding a way to get around. He wanted to be perfect and pursued it with all he had. There really wasn't a better soldier than him. No wonder he felt he truly deserved that promotion... And I'm sure he believed he would make a difference being Fleet Admiral. Everyone does... Create a perfect army... I'm sure he can't stand the prospect of spending next years seeing it under command of someone whose methods he does not approve of. Yeah... And chosing Kuzan. Much younger, with such a completely different view and way of doing things, whose animosity towards Sakazuki could be beaten only by that of Garp's (though Kuzan at least tended not to show it too loudly). Without doubt he had to take it as some kind of a betrayal, especially considering how often I had praised him privately and in front of others as my best soldier...'

He sighed. 'Always think a lot before making difficult decision, never after. Really should apply it to my private life. At least it was hopefully the last there-is-no-good-solution decision I had to make.' He put the book aside and looked absent-mindedly out of the window. The clouds were slowly turning reddish gold. He could see the guards on the streets looking impatiently at the clock on tower. Soon the night shift would change them. They still didn't know anything about the shift at the top, but very soon they would...

He could call Borsalino and go to a tavern. It was a very good thing, this Pika Pika Fruit. You just call your friend and he is here in a split of second (if not entertaining any ladies at the moment that is). Then again, Borsalino would without doubt want to know everything about today's meeting with Kong and would wonder why Sengoku doesn't spend his free evening with Sakazuki while the latter is not on the mission... Since they were really close friends he would probably end up telling him everything (he would have found out they were no longer together either way) and he knew the next thing would be a genuinely sorrowful face of Borsalino and a consoling voice 'You don't think he was with you only for that promotion, do you? You can't think that way, even him, no, I mean, especially him, would not have done such a thing'. And it would be so obvious he thinks otherwise. Everyone will. Except maybe Tsuru. But...

Knocking at the door has jerked him out of this not exactly leading anywhere depressing stream of thoughts.

\- Who's that?

\- Me.

Sengoku was staring for a moment at the door.

It would be so fairylike, if Ryu came to tell him that he has rethought things and changed his mind, instead of only taking the unfinished report he had left here today morning. And Blackbeard would commit suicide, the prisoners from Impel Down would hand themselves down and Mugiwara would decide to become obediently cooperating Shichibukai. And everyone would live happily ever after. Sengoku stepped over Orpheus, opened the door and looked up into indignation barely visible from beneath the mask of indifference. He really did not know which words were appropriate now and whether there were any. In any case, making Sakazuki stand here whole eternity, into which the mere couple of seconds seemed to have extended, would definitely not be appropriate.

\- Er, your report...? - he asked while moving back into his apartment.

\- Yes. I'd like to finish it before the new mission starts.

\- Of course – Sengoku answered with a voice more tired than he wanted it to be. He moved to his desk and rummaged through a small pile of papers. There was a sound of door being shut behind him and a couple of seconds later a tatooed hand has reached for the small shelf over the desk finding the report with a precision of someone who always leaves things in one and the same place.

\- If you don't mind I will get to work.

\- Of course – said Sengoku again with resignation. So this would be it. After all everything comes to an-

Akainu sat down beside the desk and reached for a pen. Sengoku stared. This was not exactly what he has expected when hearing 'I will get to work'. There wasn't any quick silent steps, no shutting of the door (with maybe a cold salute) and possibly never speaking to him again. Instead there was a man - who, since had got deeply let down by his longtime lover and even more longtime superior, supposedly were to leave Sengoku once and for all - sitting by Sengoku's desk and writing perfectly calligraphed black letters with Sengoku's pen. He's been looking for a long moment at Ryu's cold motionless features, searching for an answer to questions, doubts and hope that had risen within him. But the only result was Sakazuki's questioning look.

\- Do you want to use this desk? - he asked indiffirently.

\- Ah... no, sorry.

Sakazuki immediately got back to his writing, while Sengoku sat down on bed, reached for his book and start to view the letters inside. They were small, tidy, with no unnecessary ornaments and they seemed to constitute completely random groups conveying no intelligible for Sengoku meaning.

He sometimes envied some of his friends their characters. Garp, Kuzan, they would have simply accepted the situation they had found themselves in. And the situation was that his lover was still here, in his room, at least physically by his side, and he wouldn't be, if he didn't mean being with him on the other levels too, right? So what's the point in bothering yourself with unnecessary questions and doubts? If the guy had decided to come back after all, saying not a one word of reproach or anger and behaving as though nothing has happened, you should just trust in the decision that grown-up man has made and simply behave the same way. If he had wanted a discussion, he would have started it. If he wanted you to beg for forgiveness, he wouldn't have come back. Just be grateful for the happy end, then. Yes, that is exactly how they would have reacted. Lucky bastards. Unfortunately Sengoku would not have become the Fleet Admiral, if he hadn't had the tendency to overthink things. The tendency which was very useful most of the time and did a lot of good for the army, but unfortunately at the same time has been killing his mental and physical health. The tendency that has filled his head with much too many thoughts now. Maybe that's why, while in political discussions and negotiations he strived to read between the lines and acquire necessary information and actions with indirect questions and suggestions, in his private life he more and more often wanted the things to be direct and clear. He wanted to dispel his doubts by simple straightforward questions and get frank answers. He wanted to hear from Ryu what he really does feel under this cold cloak of indifference lined with barely visible anger. He wanted to know why Sakazuki had decided to come back to him and whether he had come back willingly or just forced by one of many carved in him principles he had never failed to follow. He wanted to talk about everything here and now, so that the weed of bitterness and resentment would not grow up into something big that would overshadow their future relationship.

He put the book away, stood up with determination in his features and gave a decided look at Ryu who was ignoring him, completely absorbed in his report.

...and he went to kitchen to make himself a tea.

'Am I being a loser or is it just that I know him too well?' Ryu was the last person who was willing to forthrightly discuss his feelings. Sengoku spent many years being his superior and a couple of years being his lover and got used to it. What's more, he prided himself that he had learned which minute signals conveyed which feeling and meaning. But sometimes he felt this confidence was cracking. There were moments when he wasn't sure what really was happening beneath this always coldly annoyed expression.

Sengoku sighed and looked once again through the window. The clouds were turning dark purple and there was a single star overlooking the end of another busy day in Marie Jois. Marines in plain clothes and merchants were rushing, some to their families at home, some to the small but jolly entertainment district. Sengoku wondered briefly how many of them ever felt not right - instead of being simply happy - when their important persons got back to them as though nothing had happened at all. Funny thing, human beings and their complicated ways of dealing with each other.

He reached for the little box with his darjeeling tea and suddenly hesitated. A tiny, very stupid and most probably naive thought has come to his mind. But he did not have any better ideas, did he? The hand moved away from the tea and took out coffee instead. It really did not have to mean much... but still... wouldn't it be one of those minute signals? Or is he slowly losing his sanity to base his judgement on such tiny things? But sometimes tiny things meant a lot... Boiled water filled the cup and the very strong, rich aroma of his favourite coffee filled the apartment. He couldn't help but enjoy it for a moment. It was with him through so many bad days and nights, helping him through hundreds of reports and thousands of tired thoughts but instead of getting to hate it he felt grateful and...

A very clearly audible, annoyed sigh has reached his ears and Sengoku tensed, waiting. _One, two, three, four..._ A crack of the chair and cold words have followed.

\- It won't help your insomnia to drink coffee at that hour. I expected I wouldn't have to repeat this phrase on your retirement, by the way.

Sengoku couldn't help a little tired smile and a little tired sense of relief. Of course, it didn't have to mean much. Stupid, little thing, it didn't have to mean much, but... you don't bother about insomnia of a guy, who just let you down in something that much important to you, if you don't really care about him, right?

Of course, it doesn't mean everything is alright now, but at least one thing perhaps is... _hopefully..._

Ryu watched his weary smile with annoyed face, standing between the study and the kitchen and after a very short moment came to his side. He reached for two new cups, poured water inside and started to boil it in his typical, practical way, by keeping them in his palms. Soon there was black tea in the one and melisa in the second.

\- Erm. Thank you for your, er, thougthfulness – Sengoku could never stop himself from feeling a little awkward when being treated with melisa. Of course, it was just a sign of true caring for his well-being which caring meant for him a lot... but still his masculine pride suffered a little bit somewhere deep. Drinking melisa. *

\- You're welcome – answered Ryu flatly, taking his tea into the study.

Sengoku was looking at him for a moment and made a decision.

\- Thank you.

\- Yes, I have heard you.

\- ...for coming back. - _There._

Ryu stiffened for a second, with one hand right above the desk, holding steaming cup. Then he gently put it down.

\- Coming back from _where?_ \- he asked sharply, giving him a dissuasive look.

\- ...from the walk. - answered Sengoku meekly.

Ryu sat down beside the desk.

\- _That was only an ordinary walk._ Only _losers_ don't come back from something as simple as a walk - he said pointedly and with a clear warning in his voice.

\- ...okay, then. I'm just glad... that's all - Sengoku entered the room and sat on the bed, putting his cup on the windowsill. And he didn't lie here. He was very, extremely glad. The worry and questions were still lurking in his mind, but Ryu's reaction somehow make him feel significantly better. It's little things that matter, right?

Melisa was steaming slightly into the darkening sky. The first bats have left their dark shelters and were flying briskly in wide cirles over the streets. Some of them were courageous enough to get near to the lamps, were they could make a feast out of naive insects. He have heard once that moths think that lamp's light is a moonlight. Sengoku never had much time to wonder about such trifle things, but now, come to think about it, it seemed to him very doubtful. Animals weren't as stupid as people wanted them to be. But why do they fly like that was a mystery. And no wonder. It's hard enough to understand what's happening in minds of representants of your own species, not mentioning other ones.

\- Shouldn't you have some sex tonight? - came Ryu's flat voice. - I can see you're in need to clear your mind. One very great need.

Sengoku looked back at Ryu. The previous annoyance visible in tall man's features seemed to have softened a tiny bit. The ex fleet admiral couldn't help but smile gently, even though he knew very well gentle smiles was not something a Manly Man should allow himself to do, at least according to Ryu.

\- Yes, maybe I should. – he answered quietly, feeling as the anxiety and doubts get away from the small warm feeling a Manly Man should probably be ashamed of. - I don't intend to argue with you here, Ryu.

\- Good - answered his lover, his eyes on the report.

Another night was embracing Marie Jois, the Holy Land of rulers to half of the world.

*Thx to Tenka, for the idea of treating Sengoku with melissa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Thx to Tenka, for the idea of treating Sengoku with melissa.


	4. Colloquium quartum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: So it's been a bit tricky for me to write Garp's speech since I'm no native. Hope it sounds natural. And warning for his dirty choice of words (and passtime ideas ;) ). And yeah, I've taken liberty to give first names to all the Admirals (and a goat) and I'm not changing that :D. And yeah, I know it's short but I felt like a little bit of a cliffhanger was needed here :). Next chapter's gonna be final (probably).

\- ...dangerous, so I'll make sure everything's 'kay there. Screw me if I'm gonna let'em put one dirty finger on that place. Sucks to be you, though, mwaha! Should'ave said 'shove it up your ass!' when they had offered ye promotion to Admiral back then, mwah!

\- ...Sengoku will still be around, though... No need to worry, I guess... He'll not let him please his urge to kill off half the army, I guess...

\- Please, Francesco. It was an extremely important battle... everyone was stressed as much as responsible soldier can possibly be stressed and everyone was making the decisions they thought the best for the outcome... Definitely not out of ill will... I understand how difficult it is for Garp now... I'm so sorry... but, please, don't make a mindless murderer out of Ryunosuke.

\- You're just being too kind to everyone, Tsuru-chan, as always.

The conversation stopped when Sengoku and Sakazuki entered the reception. None of the things they've overheard surprised him. There was not even the slightest doubt in the army that it had been Sakazuki whom Sengoku had recommended for the next Fleet Admiral. And obviously most of the army was far from being enthusiastic about the fact.

\- How's retirement, Goku? Hitting on some chicks? Taking part in drunkard parties? Or has the Fleet Admiral life neutered your sense of pleasures permanently, mwahaha?!

Garp's usual, taking half of the face grin and casual joking has caught Sengoku by surprise. It seemed that yet another person who should have left him for good has decided to pretend that nothing has happened at all. And again, instead of being happy, he felt wrong and unsure of what to do. Especially since there was a definite difference between pretending that not getting promotion (no matter how sore is it for someone's pride) is nothing to be angry about and doing the same thing about the death of your beloved grandson. Of course, he knew his friend was extremely sturdy when it came to getting hurt either physically or emotionally and that he tends to recover up from any misfortunes as quickly as he recovers from hangover, but that time it had been different. He had seen him crying, back then. For the first time in his life saw him being so close to breakdown. And Garp has never met Sengoku since the battle. And he has resigned of his rank, sending Sengoku the resignation through Borsalino without meeting him personally. Sengoku knew that this time it would be over between the two of them and he haven't even expected or hoped it to be different.

And yet Garp was already by his side patting him on the arm.

\- Gotcha get ye drunk, y'know, now that ye're finally not stressed as mama-san when her girlies do it for free, mwahah. Now, that yer boyfriend will be too busy with fucking everyone's ass, we'll have to take care of yer free time, yeah? Especially if he also ends up with his little one unwilling to cooperate, eh? I know some very skillful girlies, y'know - he added in conspirational hopeful whisper smoothly ignoring Akainu's presence.

It was fascinating how quickly you could change from the feeling of deeply hidden guilt and discomfort to the familiar feeling of wanting to punch Garp in the face with possible addition of throwing him out of the window. 'At least with him I can... and should talk frankly. Maybe even painfully frankly. In every meaning.'

\- Garp... - he growled at the same time as Tsuru sighed the name. He took a breath and said – ...we'll talk about many things later, if you have time tonight, alright?

\- What? Not going to celebrate your boyfriend's Big Day tonight?

\- Nothing has been decided yet – both him and Sakazuki answered coldly. Garp never paying Akainu even a glance started to laugh out loudly.

But it was the truth, though not exactly in a way Garp might think. Just because usually Government went along former Admiral's recommendation, it didn't mean they were obliged to always do it. Who knows, Garp may be right about today's outcome after all.

\- Don't be joking, mwahah, but no one blames you, of course - answered Garp this time adding Tsuru's reproachfull look to the ignore list. - You're the master of your decisions, as always, and I'm sure you do what you think is best... heh...

Fortunately the very nervous soldier emerged from behind the big door and cleared his throat hesitantly, putting a stop to the conversation Sengoku found so uncomfortable. Probably he was new as Kong's private guard, since the presence of so many high-ranked marines was obviously overwhelming him.

\- Um... could y... uh... I mean, the High Commander Kong wishes to see the Admirals of the Marines! - he drew up like a whip.

\- Wonder if it'll take long... - mumbled absentmindedly Borsalino - ...you know this blonde cutie, Patricia, who workes at the library, lad?

\- Um... excuse me, sir? - asked in a bit shaky voice soldier.

\- Please, Borsalino, later - interrupted annoyed Sengoku.

\- Fine... fine... no need to get angry... wake up, Rafi... - Borsalino patted gently Kuzan, who had been dozing the whole time, leaning on the banister.

\- ...what, time for party already?

\- No longer time for parties, mwahah! At least for you, lads, cause I'm outta here, hehe. The true soldier does not indulge in such worldly pleasures like parties, mwah! Right, Goku?

But Sengoku and Sakazuki were already inside, saluting to Kong. The sooner it starts, the sooner he'll go back to his room to try to rethink in peace many things, including, though not only, his attitude and current relation with Garp. And Garp's attitude towards Sakazuki. He felt he didn't want Garp to forget that even if it was Sakazuki who had – figuratively - pulled the trigger, it was Sengoku who had given the order to do so. Hating only Sakazuki was far from being fair. '...then again Garp had never liked Sakazuki in the first place... '

The others entered after them and sat down after saluting (excluding Garp who has just sent Kong an impudent, full of himself grin and sat down immediately on the furthest chair in a pose far from the demands of etiquette).

\- I am very happy that all my best soldiers, whose service and tribute to the army is indisputable, have gathered here on my wish – started Kong – although some of them seemed for a moment to be suddenly quite pressed with very urgent matters and needed some... convincing – he sent a sharp look towards Garp, receiving even more impudent grin. - Thus, it makes me very grateful that all of you have after all managed to put those matters aside for this one day, since the importance of this occ...

\- Please, cut to the chase, would ye?

Kong pierced Garp with his look to no visible effect (Sengoku couldn't stop himself from doing the same. Akainu did not move an inch, but his aura was telling a lot about his current attitude towards the Hero of Marines)

\- It won't hurt if one behaves courteously once in a time, when talking to his distinguished soldiers – answered dryly Kong.

\- Yeah, yeah, but we're not in the court, but in the army, so get on with that, cause everyone is already bored.

Kong gave him a badtempered look.

\- As you all know, one week ago our longtime, widely respected Fleet Admiral, 'Hotoke' Sengoku has resigned of his duties. - he continued nevertheless - As we doubtlessly all can agree he was one of the best Admirals our Army has ever had and, from this place, I'd like to express my deep gratitude for everything he has done for us... and for the world we're trying to protect.

Kong stood up and bowed to him slightly. There was a short sound of clapping coming unanimously from everyone. Sengoku wondered briefly how many of those people were thinking of his pre-Gensui bright times of brave fighting when clapping rather than of that recent 12 years of difficult decisions. Garp, for one, had always claimed that being Fleet Admiral did no good for Sengoku's character and morality. Hearing that always annoyed him greatly. And, of course, he was saying the same about his relationship with Ryu.

\- Needless to say being fully aware of that and also of the especially difficult condition our civilization now is, we have felt the great pressure of responsibility to choose someone who would be able to carry on with this crucial burden with equal unflaggingness and dedication . The decision was not easy, since I know that all my Admirals are elite and their service always has been a bright example for all our soldiers*. Yet, we had to chose one, who would be able to give the best answer to this era that pirates so badly want to call a new golden era of piracy. Someone whose deeds will shape this world along the lines of order, not chaos. Whose deeds may decide on the future of our world.

Kong gave the handful of people gathered in this small room a look full of significance. Unfortunately, Kuzan was again dozing, Borsalino was staring out of the window, more than apparently already on the inner date with that blonde girl he had mentioned before and Garp was being Garpish as always. Tsuru was giving her motherly encouraging 'I do listen to you, Kong, sweety' smile, but to the opposite effect it was rather adding to the frustration. Of course, Sengoku and Sakazuki were behaving properly, but somehow the general atmosphere was definitely lacking the appropriate feel of announcing the decision that would have an enormous impact on the whole army they were part of (and on the world, as Kong claimed in dignified words). Kong sighed almost inaudibly.

\- We've decided to chose Admiral Sakazuki for the next Fleet Admiral – he ended. - His long-time service proved his flawless morality and unquestionable merits whether it comes to strategic thinking, fighting abilities or discipline among his subordinates. I am sure he will prove to be worthy successor of Admiral Sengoku. I am sure that knowing it you will give him your full support.

He looked expectantly at everyone again. There was no particular reaction. Garp was nodding in an 'it was obvious' way, Kuzan and Borsalino still did not seem to care too much about it all. Only Tsuru smiled serenely towards Sakazuki and started to clap. Sengoku flinched awaken from his thoughts and also started to clap. 'So, that was their decision after all. As Garp would say, I'm sure they do what they think is best. Well, Sakazuki did deserve it.'

Akainu was sitting motionless, his face indiffirent as always, with no sign of satisfaction, pride or gratitude. Kuzan stretched himself and made a longing glance towards the door. Garp and Borsalino had the same aura about them. 'Annoying bastards' Sengoku thought irritated. He respected them all, both on military and personal level, but sometimes they could use a couple of well-aimed kicks. Both on military and personal level.

\- Do you accept this great honor and burden, Admiral Sakazuki?

Sakazuki stood up and bowed.

\- Sir, I would like to express my most deep gratitude for recognising my person as so valuable. However, with greatest respect, I'd like to express my wish to decline this honor.

Suddenly all the eyes in the room have fixed on him.

* Yep, Kong doesn't really mean it. It's just that kind of thing you always say in such occasions to butter losers up.


	5. Colloquium quintum

Kong frowned slightly.

\- May I ask you the reason? - he asked slowly.

\- I simply believe there may be someone else who will be much more befitted to become worthy successor of Admiral Sengoku than me – Akainu answered with no delay and not a slightest trace of any emotion in his cold voice. It sounded almost as automatic as if he had been repeating those words many times in his head until all the emotions have completely dried up. Or maybe it was only Sengoku's overinterpretation.

Kong was looking at him for a long moment not saying a word. The silence in the room was perfect. No one did even the smallest move while staring at Sakazuki.

\- ...fine. - said Kong finally. - I do not agree with your statement, but I'm not a fool not to see when no arguments will work. I'd like to congratulate you on the loyalty of your soldiers, though – he turned suddenly to Sengoku with a bitter overtone in his voice. - In this situation I have no other way than appoint Aokiji, I guess – he added with an apparent discontent in his voice.

This time it was Sengoku who frowned. 'You don't give up easily, do you, Kong?'

\- Do you accept the title Akainu has left you so generously, admiral Kuzan?

Sengoku looked at Aokiji. Their eyes have met for a short moment. 'If you'll fall for this then it means indeed Sakazuki should become next General' he thought with furrowed brows.

\- ...in that case... – answered admiral Aokiji after a pause, the familiar laziness in his voice. - ...I guess I've got no other way than accept it... however bothersome I'm sure it will be...

Sengoku sighed with relief.

There wasn't any trace of any kind of emotion on Sakazuki's face.

ooo

The five of them walked out of the room in awkward silence (Kuzan stayed inside to listen to what Kong had to say to him in private). Garp and Borsalino looked stunned, Tsuru was smiling, as usual, but even she seemed to have no words to say. Neither did Sengoku. At least not here, in their presence.

\- If you'll excuse me, I have some paperwork to do - Sakazuki moved forward. - I'll make sure to give my gratulations to Fleet General later.

Garp and Borsalino gave him weird, not free of suspicion look.

\- Don't overwork yourself – smiled Tsuru.

\- Yes, Admiral Tsuru. Thank you for your continuous concern.

\- Yeah, I will be going, too – said quickly Sengoku and instantly felt a heavy hand on his shoulder.

\- We need to talk. - he heard impatient, worked up voice.

\- What, now?

\- Yes. It is very important. _Very-very_ \- nodded Garp quickly, with twinkling eyes of a little kid who can't wait to unwrap his present.

\- Really, I'd prefer... _Stop dragging me, idiot._

\- You've said yourself you wanted to talk to me, right? - said Garp petulantly.

\- Yes, but not n...

\- Whatever. Goku, did Whitebeard hit your sweetheart's head THAT hard? Or did someone robbed him of his own balls d...

\- Garp, behave yourself or I'll wash you down – said in a strict tone Tsuru.

\- Oh, _come on_ , I know you're all dying to know the fuck just happened and he's already left anyway– replied Garp unmoved, his eyes alit with excitement.

\- So this is this 'very-very' imp...

\- YES - cut in Garp.

\- Actually... I was pretty much surprised myself too... - said in a thoughtful tone Borsalino - ...that's not exactly what you'd expect... ...I mean from Akainu... Don't get me wrong, Sengoku – he added hastily, being one of the few people always concentrated on not hurting Sengoku's feelings – I know he has his good points... but... well, I always thought him to be very ambitious...

\- Yeah, that bloody hound.

\- Garp, I'm warning you.

\- Sorry, Tsuru. ...well? - Garp's eyes bored through him.

Sengoku looked for help which was nowhere to be found. Both Borsalino and Tsuru had this atmosphere of people, who find it oh-so-impolite to inquire about personal matters, like Garp did, but who will nevertheless be happy to hang around not to miss any interesting information that may be spilled.

'Just go drown yourselves, all of you' muttered in an inaudible voice Sengoku.

Garp put his nose one inch from his.

\- Move the hell away from me – growled Sengoku. - He made his decision, go ask him, not me.

\- Losing such a chance to make everyone's life a living hell, is he dying or sumthyn? Or maybe he hopes Kuzan won't manage and we'll end up begging him to take over the post?

\- Why the hell you're asking me, if you have plenty of your own awesome hypotheses? - growled again Sengoku.

\- But that's really weird... that's the first time I see him... doing something against the will of his superiors... - Borsalino scratched his chin wonderingly

\- Yeah, flaming magma'd slaughter his own ma, if ordered so, and now he's brushing off his boss and oh-so-beloved sweetheart, world's gonna end, telling ya.

\- Does he? - asked thoughtfully Tsuru.

\- Wha?

\- Didn't Kong said something about Ryunosuke's fidelity to Sengoku?

\- Huh? What does his flings have to do with it? JUST JOKING, geez.

Tsuru sighed.

\- ...yes, what do you mean, shining jewel of our army?

Tsuru smiled to Borsalino.

\- ...I mean that maybe he has followed Sengoku's orders - she eyed Sengoku carefully.

Garp's jaw dropped significantly.

\- Wha... he... you... stop there, Sengoku.

Sengoku sighed irritated at his failed attempt to use the moment to slowly disappear among the trees in the garden and come back to his appartment.

\- _Really?_

\- Don't get so excited or you'll hurt yourself – muttered angrily Sengoku.

Garp and Borsalino were staring at him in lack of words. He wished it would be a permanent condition in Garp's case. However this time it was Borsalino who said:

\- But... we all thought... I mean... you've been always saying his your best soldier... and all...

\- I still think so – Sengoku answered in quiet, but firm voice.

If incomprehension ever took human form, it would have the face of both men.

\- Sakazuki was and is my best soldier. Better than many. - he added a bit angrily, annoyed to repeat it yet again. - ... but the times are different than I expected. A lot of things changed... and it might be better this way. He was a great General and great support to me and I think it will be best if he continues this role as it is much more important than you may thin. - he ended a bit defiantly.

Garp blinked a couple of times.

\- Wa... _waita_. You're saying you've chosen Kuzan?!

\- NO, GARP, I'M COMMENTING ON THE CHANGES OF THE CLIMATE, GODDAMNIT.

Garp blinked once more.

\- The hell... You're sayin' you fucking snatched the promotion right out of your dear bedwarmer and give it out of your free will to the oh-so-Magma-annoying Iceboy and you're still _together_? Fuck, you're both more insane than all the Mugiwara pirates – he chuckled happily. - God, one'd think the bloody maniac'd hate you for this forever. But...

Sengoku never heard what was after the 'but', because he had heard his own icy voice saying

\- ...one'd think someone'd hate me forever for killing off his grandson.

A very heavy silence fell. Sengoku moved his eyes away from Garp and looked at the garden. That wasn't exactly how he expected to bring the matter to his longtime very annoying but very important friend... but why the hell must Garp always touch spots that really _really_... why the hell does he always makes him lose patience like that... He almost regretted what he had said. Almost. The just spoken words burned him, but along the pain there was a weird satisfaction one feels when touching the hurting place or scratching the itching wound.

\- ...it was Sakazuki that has killed him - came much quieter voice.

Sengoku forced himself to face Garp. He saw the same powerless silent plead in his eyes as that time, during the battle. So unlike what he'd been used to all these years. So unlike the moment ago.

\- ...don't defend him wi..

\- I'm NOT defending him – he said more harshily than he wanted. - ...he was only listening to orders, as always. Mine orders, Garp - he added in a quiet voice.

\- ...Government orders – Garp answered petulantly.

\- ...Government decision I had agreed to.

He once again looked at the garden. He could see in the corner of his vision Borsalino and Tsuru who have moved away from them and were watching worriedly.

\- You did what you thought was best, didn't you. You did what was best back then, Sengoku. You wouldn't do that if it wasn't unavoidable - said Garp's voice, again very quiet plead in his words.

Sengoku looked at the green grass of the perfectly kept garden and then at the dark brown long-time dead wood beneath his feet. Everything was in it's place here. What was meant to be alive was alive, what was meant to be dead was dead. Everything the way they wanted it to be.

\- ...yeah.

The both men looked at each other for a moment and again Sengoku was the one to turn away from those eyes that were by his side since his childhood.

\- ...it's just that you all are treating him as he was mindless cruel murderer. … but if he is, so am I. - he said quietly.

Garp seemed to want to argue for a moment, but then to Sengoku's surprise said simply

\- I'm sorry.

Sengoku felt even more uncomfortable. How come this discussion ended with Garp apologizing to him? ...damn him, always trying to be the Good Guy. Damn him always making Sengoku feel guilty...

\- ...no, _I'm sorry_... Garp.

There really wasn't anything he could add.

\- ...I'm going back to my apartment... - he managed to say with a tired weak tone.

Couple of minutes later he heard steps rushing after him.

\- ...but we're drinking tonight right?

He turned around to the Garp's trademark gigantic grin. He stared blankly. There was not a slightest trace of the previous moment on that pleased face. Wherever it was, it was apparently again burried very deeply.

\- We've got to make a proper use of your retirement, right – Garp winked happily.

When Sengoku was still staring with no answer ready to be uttered to this creature whose mind was so different from his own. Garp's smile weakened a bit and he moved a bit closer.

\- Listen, Sengoku... I don' wanna lose more of my family, okay?

He put his hand him on his arm.

\- ...okay? - the bearded face appeared in front of Sengoku's.

\- ...okay - answered finally Sengoku weakly.

Garp grinned again and patted him on his arms.

\- Just don't forget the blobs, right?

\- Bl... what...

\- Now, don't try to break your promise with me, Goku.

\- ...never promised you anything in the first place.

\- They're awesome, telling ya.

\- Get away.

\- I'm leaving soon, I need a decent goodbye to my dear little friend.

\- I'll lend you some money then.

\- Was talking bout ye.

\- ...go drown yourself finally.

ooo

\- Well, no wonder it has been bothering him. They're lovers after all. And he's right that Ryunosuke is only...

\- Fine, fine, been there already alright? Geez...

\- If you just tried to...

\- Tsuru, dear. Would you let your own little brother be fucked by some cold son of a bitch who's unable to feel any human feelings?

\- Garp, you're prejudiced.

\- AM NOT. It has nothing to do with Ace. I've been watching him for years. I couldn't stand that hound for years. And you know me, I don't go around hating people... but he... Treating people like shit. Behaving as some kinda walking perfection. Killing off people like that. Killing off his own people. He blew up our ship in Ohara, ye've forgotten?

\- ... the nature of Buster Call...

\- ...no, the nature of bloody murderer. ...for God's sake, there are so many fairies in this army and Sengoku had to chose the bloody queen of spades.

\- Isn't he happy though?

\- ...I wonder. Now, that he has finally time for anything other than his work, I wonder if he'll be happy. ...and I don't believe Akainu's the man to ever forgive something like this.

\- But he has declined hasn't he? Secondly, you've said yourself he would kill his own mother if ordered to, haven't you Garp? Isn't resigning from the promotion on the order of your admiral by any chance much smaller thing to do?

\- You're just being too nice with everyone, Tsuru, as always. Listening to orders doesn't mean you don't despise them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: Thank you for reading this shortstory. Sorry for my English mistakes, did my best to reread it bazillion of times and some of my friends read it too so I hope we've taken care of most errors. And yeah, no, Garp isn't actually Sengoku's brother :D. I've never been much into this kind of silly story twists. I just think they have spent their childhood together and consider each other brothers. I mean, how else guys of such different personality would be such a good friends? Still loved your wtf face when Garp called Goku 'little brother' :D


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